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Paula Span

When They Don’t Recognize You Anymore

July 24, 2025 by Paula Span

Jen Hsieh

It happened more than a decade ago, but the moment remains with her.

Sara Stewart was talking at the dining room table with her mother, Barbara Cole, 86, in Bar Harbor, Maine. Ms. Stewart, then 59, a lawyer, was making one of her extended visits from out of state.

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Filed Under: New Old Age

Honey, Sweetie, Dearie: The Perils of Elderspeak

July 24, 2025 by Paula Span

Illustration of young health aid bending to speak to elderly man.
Medar de la Cruz

A prime example of elderspeak: Cindy Smith was visiting with her father in his assisted living apartment in Roseville, Calif. An aide who was trying to induce him to do something — Ms. Smith no longer remembers exactly what — said, “Let me help you, sweetheart.”

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Filed Under: New Old Age

Dialysis May Prolong Life for Older Patients. But Not by Much.

October 18, 2024 by Paula Span

Credit: Elenia Beretta‬‬‬

Even before Georgia Outlaw met her new nephrologist, she had made her decision: Although her kidneys were failing, she didn’t want to begin dialysis.

Ms. Outlaw, 77, a retired social worker and pastor in Williamston, N.C., knew many relatives and friends with advanced kidney disease. She watched them travel to dialysis centers three times a week, month after month, to spend hours having waste and excess fluids flushed from their blood.

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Filed Under: New Old Age

When Elder Care Is All in the Stepfamily

October 18, 2024 by Paula Span

Caitlin O’Hara for The New York Times

The encounter happened years ago, but Beverly K. Brandt remembers it vividly.

She was leaving her office at Arizona State University, where she taught design history, to run an errand for her ailing stepfather. He had moved into a retirement community nearby after his wife, Dr. Brandt’s mother, died of cancer.

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Filed Under: New Old Age

Add ‘I’m Getting a Little Older’ to the Challenges of Apartment Hunting

October 18, 2024 by Paula Span

Credit: Ben Denzer

Apartment hunting in Brooklyn earlier this year was the predictable nightmare.

I saw a place on Fifth Street that looked perfectly acceptable except that it had no closets. Not one.

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Filed Under: Other Writing

When the Neighbors Are All Older, Too

January 23, 2024 by Paula Span

Dustin Miller for The New York Times

Kathy Fitts loved her roomy house in suburban Atlanta. But after her children moved out, and the pandemic exacerbated the isolation she often felt as a divorced woman, she left for Latitude Margaritaville, a Jimmy Buffett-themed housing development in Daytona Beach, Fla., for those “55 and better.”

Visiting a friend who had relocated there, “I thought, wow, these people are having a good time,” Ms. Fitts, 68, said. She bought a two-bedroom villa and settled in almost two years ago.

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Filed Under: New Old Age

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